Oh, hello again.

I've been away. It's been a long time. It's a long story. I think maybe I'd like to come back.

I spent this Christmas alone. (It's a long story.) It was a peaceful day with a lot of love in it, for all its solitude. But for some reason I was drawn back to this old home of mine, and I read it through--all the way through. And I shook my head and I smiled and I marveled at that very intense girl I used to be.

Well, I'm still pretty intense.

When I left this blog, I'd been through the wringer and I was squeezed pretty flat. I ran away across the ocean chasing a dream.

It's five years later and I guess I've woken up.(It's a long story.)

I'm in a very different place now. It's been a long road and I've left a lot behind me. I don't know what's coming next but I think I'd like to gather back up a few of the more precious things that I dropped along the way, things that I'd like to carry with me wherever it is I'm headed. I'm still intense, but I'm a lot quieter than I used to be. All of than angsting and raging can really wear a girl out.

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You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we’ll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played, (I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.
Ah, come with me!
I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
 I’ll sing you the jacinth song
 Of the probable stars;
 I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
 Until I find the Only Flower,
 Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
 While the moon comes out of the sea.
 E.E. Cummings

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I am a little tired. I'm also a lot less tortured, a lot less convinced of a lot of things, a lot more sure of one or two. I am still a bit confused, but more quietly curious.

I am looking forward to this.