It's been a difficult few weeks. I am having a minor relapse into depression and they won't let me take anti-depressants anymore now that I have a bipolar diagnosis. So they've added another mood-stabilizing drug, but it'll take about a month to kick in, so I have to tread water till then.
I'm reading a lovely book called The Small Rain by Madeline L'Engle, which I somehow can't believe I haven't read before, it feels so warm and familiar, unfolding into my mind as if it had always belonged there. It is hugely unlike her famous children's books, and somehow a strange synthesis of the classic girl's literature ( The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women) and more contemporary mature fiction. It was written quite a long time ago, set, I think, somewhere in the twenties. (isn't it strange to think I'll maybe be alive for another "twenties"? Do you think it will be "roaring"?)
What else? I read a wonderful book in two sittings called "The Speed of Dark" and I don't know how to talk about it except to say it's been years since I've been so drawn into a character's deepest bits that it felt like he and I were both real and I'd known him all my life. Amazing. Seriously, amazing.
I have been doing so much reading lately it's a wonder I have room for my own thoughts.
Which reminds me that I have a homework assignment due Monday (last week I celebrated my first instance of math homework accomplished without tears) and am supposed to have a calculator to do it and haven't bought one yet. I suppose that will be my Sunday afternoon project. I can also go to the course website and check how I did on my last assignment but I'm kind of scared to do that.
Ok, now I will go finish my book.
9 comments:
I don't usually play quack doctor, but I've been reading some interesting (medical) studies that indicate that fish oil might actually be really beneficial for bipolar disorder(my bil may be bi-polar, so I was checking out the info to give my sister.)
Here's a link with a general overview: http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/Omega-3.htm
It can't hurt to try - there are no known side effects to taking an extra 2 grams of fish oil a day, and the north american diet is notoriously short of omega-3s anyway. You can buy capsules pretty much anywhere as a nutritional supplement.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time, and glad you're finding some respite in books - always my favorite refuge. ;-) You're in my prayers, as always.
Kate
Cool........tuna salad sandwiches and salmon patties make you happy!
Mom was on to something.
Smoked Macrel... fried... with onions... nice oily fish that macrel...
Must try some meself... that loud scream you all heard last night from California to Boston was my new hard drive crashing before I could back up to my even newer hard drive... a few months of work disapearing ... with it hard news photos, and me with a Tues. Midnight deadline... but must try and find a recovery service which can do the job post haste...
ouch
Wendsday I must read a good book with me feet up!
Get lots of sun light... don't sit around in the dark, bright light is a small bit of a tonic for depression... or at least, it is not dark, which increases depression...
When all else fails... Alpine horn classes...
=)
Sending thee a smile ( even with the downed drive, I can spare one I think... )
lor
Whew... threw money at the problem at John and Taylor's house, as they oiled me with a rather nice white wine... and wonderful food. The tech did the trick and I am backing up a fixed CD...
See? Sometimes things DO work out... hang in there with good friends... really ... rely on thy friends, we all love thee
lor
PS not CD... hard drive, I mean...
Wishing you all the best and many kind thoughts.
I just requested some books from the library, thanks for the reccomendations!
I wish I had something more helpful to say. I hope you're feeling better.
Most of the reason I read books, it's to get out of my own thoughts for a while. (Unfortunately, the books that work the best this are very low-grade scifi, of the space opera type. I just got through a Charles Sheffield binge.) When I was kid, I always had a pile of books along on our family camping trips, and could usually be found in the tent, reading. These camping trips were also the only times in my childhood I can remember not being anxious all the time, - the change of location/routine also seemed to take me out of my thoughts.
On the subject of books, I blew up at a librarian yesterday - I must go back and apologize, I know - because of their policy of not keeping any books in the system unless they have more than one copy (a policy I discovered by accident).
They do have the L'Engle book (more than one copy!) and I've put in a request for it.
Hey there.
What a roller coaster you've been on... I'm a bit speechless, mostly because I find I am silently "witnessing" you in my heart.
You are a beloved child of God... You deserve to be happy, healthy, and well.
I often think of meeting you in Boston earlier this year, though it seems like two or three years ago now.
Thank you for hanging in there, for doing the best you can, for being as gentle as you can with yourself.
You are in my thoughts.
Blessings,
Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up
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