I wish my bird were friendlier

We have been cheerfully yelling at each other all day but he hates to come out of his cage and I hate forcing him. I've been sitting on my bed for 90% of the day. There are practical things I could be doing but instead I am just sitting here yelling at my bird (Even though he's just a parakeet, he's still a parrot, and so to him loud=HAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHOORAY plus I yell nice things at him like "HEY YOU STUPID BIRD YOU SURE ARE GOOD LOOKING, TOO BAD YOU'RE SO MEAN THOUGH, I GUESS YOU REALLY LIKE THIS JOHNNY CASH SONG HUH!") and reading and staring at the computer.

I am not used to being along so much. I have lots of awesome friends but company requires planning and calling and scheduling and things. No more just sitting in the same room with someone all day, doing your own thing but talking. Unless you count the bird. I'm not feeling sorry for myself but I am wondering how to adjust. When I lived at home my life was the obvious other extreme--never alone at all. When I lived in Brooklyn there were several standing dates around town, so company didn't require coordination, and here I was spoiled by being in a relationship. I've always been good at doing things alone, going to dinner with a book or a movie by myself, but it's the in-between stuff that smarts. For some reason I've always pictured myself as a loner but I really don't think I am. I always thought I was an introvert but I think I may just be an atypical extrovert. I think I am happier when I have someone to focus on besides myself or the silly yellow feathered thing over there. I don't know if that makes me co-dependent or simply a functioning communal mammal.

sob whine snivel.

Last night I did go to a party. I got to hold a very enormous, friendly, warm and cuddly python or boa constrictor or something. He was seriously lovely, would look you in the face very intelligently and then lay his pointy little head on your shoulder. He could have eaten me for dinner but he just liked snuggling up to my body heat--I was like a well upholstered rock in the sun as far as he was concerned. A very classy reptile. It was an odd party, tattoo artists giving tattoos in an upstairs bedroom which seemed a little dubious (beer + tattoos = just don't.) though everyone came down looking fairly un-maimed. In case anyone is alarmed, I remained happily unmarked. I wouldn't want to go to a party like that every day, but it did pep me up a little, reminded me of the life I had back in NYC. I wouldn't want that life back entire, but it's nice to know I can still go out and rock the fishnets and all on occasion. I didn't sleep at all though, so that wasn't very clever and may have something to do with my miserable mood.

Something (not the snake) bit me at some point last evening and raised a horrible stinging welt. It's swollen and painful even now. I should put something on it maybe. I have no idea what kind of bite or sting it could be. It's so severe it's bruised in the middle. I'd say spider but my spider-studying friends mock the blame-the-spider approach and say spider bites are outrageously over-reported. They may be biased, but they are probably right. Whatever the hell this thing was it was mean. Ow. Whine.

I need a new playlist. These songs are killing me. I have about 3 happy songs in my entire collection. I should go outside (I've only left my room for meeting) and I should eat something (I've only had some sunflower seeds so far.) There should be some sunshine left, and maybe I'll get a sandwich and eat it by the Charles. I can pick one of my books I haven't read yet or recently and bring it along. That might be nice. My dumb bird is not invited.

There will be shooting stars tonight.