It is almost the end of this day but I don't want to write about anything. I ate a bunch of falafel, which is also green, and so mildly disturbing. And now my friend Sarah is here and I would rather talk to her than to the computer so this is all I have to say.
2 comments:
I've been thinking of what letting or lives speak means in terms of healing. We need to become that which we need in the world -- and we all know what that means in terms of, I think it was Rabbi Kook put it, "if you want more justice, become just, if you want more peace -- become peaceful..." We keep grasping at the external things to make what we all have inside. I want so and so to make me happy, I want to stop hurting so I can find peace ... and yet if we look within to that happiness, that peace that justice, that healing, then the external things have their place. Perhaps meds are like plain clothes. My lack of a collar does not make me a happier better person, but reminds me what I need to do to be a Quaker. As our fFriend John Edminster said, that he would look very silly indeed, dressed as we do and cursing a blue streak in public. Sometimes we need meds to help us to heal, but the real healing is inside, in reaching down and becoming what we need. If we need a salve on our hurting soul, we must become that calm and gentle voice to ourselves. Let our lives speak to our own healing, just the same as we let our lives speak to healing the world.
Being gentle with thy self, even in pain, moving slowly towards listening to that still small voice inside, sometimes hard to hear in the pain we feel, but always trying to be a little more faithful to that voice... those broken pieces to come back together, even when external things seek ever to break them. I think that might be the point a certain small voice within was saying to Jullian of Norwhich, in her illness, when it said, "all will be well". That same voice is in thee saying the same thing, and we all rebel against it, saying, Yes, but I WANT to SLEEP! I want to be loved, I want to stop hurting ... and we really have to listen more gently, and become love, become salve, and sleep and peace will follow.
I know, (I who also know I have felt damned and still need to become so much I should be... ) that there is a voice within thee saying, "I made thee, and thee is part of me, of the best stuff and perfect".
Thanks, Lor.
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